Listen up, ladies. We all know first dates can be nerve wracking. What do I wear, how should I act, is he going to like me, am I going to like him? I just hope it’s not awkward. Dating is hard, there’s no other way around it. But it’s also exciting. Whether a long term relationship comes out of it or not, dating is a way to meet new people, for you to express your individuality, and to open yourself up to new ideas and experiences. With a little guidance, we can all be first date experts and let chemistry take care of the rest.
Tanya Major has built her name and established herself as a blog writer that specializes in spotting the upcoming fashion trends for African-American women. While her website, www.MajorMustHaves.com, focuses primarily on fashion and food, she was gracious enough to sit down with us to talk about creating that perfect first date –and what you “Must Have” on a first date.
“However you feel comfortable; confidence is the key.” This is Major’s most important piece of advice. “Don’t take it too seriously, it’s only a first date, make sure you’re comfortable. Impress yourself first and feel comfortable in the mirror before you walk out the door.” While she has a lot of great advice on what exactly to wear, where to go, and what to say, Major believes in, above all else, being comfortable and your confidence will come through.
In terms of attire, dressy-casual is key. Start with “a nice pair of fitted, well-tailored jeans. And of course heels to make it a little sexy, and a nice blouse.” Again she stresses, “something that you’re comfortable in…you don’t want to be sucking your stomach in the whole night, so a nice flowy blouse [is ideal].” The heel can be either a stiletto or a wedge, as long as it’s sexy and of course, comfortable, Major says. “You don’t want to walk around like your feet hurt [all night].” A flowy silk blouse would be perfect. “That silky top would dress up a pair of jeans and heels would dress it up [as well].”
But why jeans if you’re just going to have to dress them up? “Because it just shows that you’re not trying too hard.” Good tip, Tanya.
Make them think this date isn’t your top priority.
Time to accessorize. In terms of jewelry, simplicity is key. If your blouse is a solid color, go with a chunky necklace. Or if you have a long sleeve button down shirt, Major suggests rolling up the sleeves and wearing a skinny, long necklace coming straight down the middle of your shirt. “Or you can just be bare,” she reminds. Again, simplicity is key. If you have a bare neck, go with a statement cuff on your wrist and an index finger ring. And lastly, for earrings, “I like either big diamond studs or pearl earrings.” Go for just a couple of really nice statement pieces rather than cluttering up your outfit.
A few last outfit tips from Major would be: “always have your scarf folded up in your purse and don’t over do it with the perfume.”
Now that we’ve got the killer first date “must haves” outfit down, how should you act? Should you be talkative and interesting or just listen a lot? Major’s advice: “Listen a lot and don’t ask too many questions. Guys don’t like to feel like they’re being interrogated. You can feel people out and see what they’re doing and what’s going on just by listening.” The goal is to listen and have a quality conversation. Never discuss any past relationships.”
Where should you go? “Dinner is great. I don’t think you should go to the movies on a first date. You should go to dinner so you can talk and get to know each other. If you are enjoying each other’s company, you can go for a walk at the park or somewhere safe and well lit afterwards. This is the first date after all… you don’t know this guy.”
Another good point she raises, ladies. Putting in the effort to make this date successful is key, but remember that this is just a first date, a test run. Don’t feel pressure and don’t put yourself in a dangerous situation. Protect yourself first, far before worrying about whether you’re going to see this guy again.
Now let’s say the date goes well, your evening is filled with great conversation, and you want to see this guy again. “Never call,” Major firmly states, “at least for two weeks. Always let him call. Always, always… because you’re always busy,” she says with a wink. Through all your preparations, Major’s advice is to “be conservative, with a little hint of sexiness, so you can leave something to the imagination.”
Make sure to check out the next piece of advice in the Major Must Have Series and you can learn more about Major’s fashion tips at http://www.MajorMustHaves.com.